WHY GIRLS DON'T MARRY SOFTWARE ENGINEER

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  1. Post Count Number #1
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    WHY GIRLS DON'T MARRY SOFTWARE ENGINEER

    WHY GIRLS DON'T MARRY SOFTWARE ENG.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
    Husband - hard disk full.

    Wife - have you brought the saree.
    Husband - Bad command or file name.

    Wife - but I told you about it in morning
    Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry,cancel.

    Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
    Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.

    Wife - at least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
    Husband - sharing violation, access denied.

    Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
    Husband - data type mismatch.

    Wife - you are useless.
    Husband - by default.

    Wife - what is my value in your life?
    Husband - unknown virus detected.

    Wife - do you love me or your computer?
    Husband - Too many parameters.

    Wife - i will go to my dad's house.
    Husband - program has performed an illegal operation,it will close.

    Wife - I will leave you forever.
    Husband - close all programs and log in again

  2. Post Count Number #2
    Site Admin
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    Dont marry a girl from software field.

    Here is why you are not supposed to marry a girl from software field.

    Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U .

    Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.

    Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.

    Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.

    Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.

    Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.

    Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.

    Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.

    Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.

    Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.

    Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE.

  3. Post Count Number #3
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    Re: WHY GIRLS DON'T MARRY SOFTWARE ENG.!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    nice topic...keep going...

  4. Post Count Number #4
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    Tester

    Shivu r aiholli
    shivu12155 AT gmail.com


    As QA- Engineer 3.9 Experiences
    Domain Experience Currently working On Site to -MODEL METRICS,_ Illinois ,USA.Through
    Synova Innovative Technologies, Bangalore,20 Dec 2010 till date--- On ,Cloud Computing
    Technology for SALES FORCE Application(SFDC)
    - Over the past experience, I have been able to apply & enrich my knowledge Web Applications ERP,CRM Now hands - On Agile methodology
    Previous Company : I Globe Soft Labs Pvt.Ltd (Bangalore) 3.0 years
    (Nov 2007 to 20th Nov 2010.)
    Key skills - Testing Tools Serena, Software Planner(smart bear)8.2 Quality Centre
    Team File Server,QTP 9.2 ,Data base Testing,Linux,Unix Commands
    - RDBMS : Sql/2000/05/08 , MySQL
    - Markup Languages : HTML,XML
    - Operating System : Windows 98/ME/2000/XP/2003/Vista/win7,
    - Browsers : Internet Explorer 8,6, Netscape, Mozilla,
    - Technology Architecture : Client/Server & Web server
    - Languages/Scripts : V B Script, Java Script ,UNIX basic Command
    - Major Skills : Manual ,Data base, Sales Force(SFDC),Linux

    Educational Profile - Diploma in Computer sciences Engineering from K.L.E Polytechnic, Hubli in the year 2004
    - 10th from K.E Boards School, Malmaddi Dharwad in year 2001.
    Skills Testing Expertise - Excellent understanding of Sales Force application SFDC
    - Excellent understanding of Software Testing Life Cycle (STLC).
    - Good Knowledge of Software Development Life Cycle (SDLC).
    - Good experience in Execution of test scenarios and test cases.
    - Involved in Functional Testing, Integration Testing, System Testing, Smoke Testing, UAT Testing. Regression testing.
    - Good knowledge on L10N and I 18N testing, Smoke testing, Ad-hoc testing, Compatibility testing
    - Excellent understanding of Defect Life Cycle and Test Plan.
    - Writing Test Cases using BVA, Error guessing and equivalence partition
    - Involved and maintaining Traceability Matrix Participated in Defect
    Management and Defect Reporting using bug-tracking tools for
    business software’s &web applications
    SQL
    - Involved in Database Testing SQL2000/05 server, With different Quarries
    - Excellent knowledge in RDBMS concepts.
    - Sound knowledge in writing SQL queries.
    Projects Project 1 SFDC (Sales Force ) CRM
    Project Name Hedrick & Struggles, Chicago Illinois USA
    Project Client Model Matrices Chicago Illinois USA
    Testing Environment IE 8,IE 6
    Role Tester
    Duration Dec 2010 –Present
    Team Size 01 members
    Testing Tool Serena ,
    Technologies used C#,Html,CSS,Java script
    Description :
    Hedrick & Struggles International was established as a separate entity, encompassing all European operations. The two corporations reunited in 1999 to form the integrated global firm of today. That same year, Hedrick & Struggles International, Inc. (HSII) became a publicly traded company on the NASDAQ stock market. The beginning of one of the first executive search firms in the United States, a firm that would grow to have global representation and presence in every major industry
    Responsibility :
    - Understanding the Functional Requirements of the H&S.
    - Involved in preparing Traceability Matrix
    - Experience in Identifying scenarios and write test coverage
    - Involved in updating/Editing the Test Cases and reviewing the same.
    - Created the test cases as per the requirements and executed them.
    - Involved in writing test cases for Functional, Integration, System Testing
    - Experience in Smoke, Adhoc, Regression
    - Involved in Defect Reporting using SERENA TOOL
    - Participated in peer reviews of code & test cases..
    - Performing Regression, GUI and Specifications based testing
    - Involved in sending Daily reports
    Project 2 SFDC (Sales Force ) CRM
    Project Name Chicago Housing Authority (CHA) USA
    Project Client Model Matrices Chicago Illinois USA
    Testing Environment IE 8,IE 6
    Role Tester
    Duration May 2011 –Present
    Team Size 01 members
    Testing Tool Software Planner(Smart Bear)
    Technologies used C#,Html,CSS,Java script,PHP

    Description :
    To ensure that CHA’s families receive relevant, timely, and comprehensive services, the Resident Services Department has contracted with 3rd parties to provide case management services to its Family Housing residents. Case Management Providers are assigned by geographic areas
    - Understanding the Functional Requirements of the (CHA)
    - Involved in updating/Editing the Test Cases and reviewing the same.
    - Created the test cases as per the requirements and executed them.
    - Involved in writing test cases for Functional, Integration, System Testing
    - Experience in Smoke, Adhoc, Regression
    - Involved in Defect Reporting using Software Planner(Smart Bear)
    - Participated in peer reviews of code & test cases..
    - Performing Regression, GUI and Specifications based testing
    - Involved in sending Daily reports
    Project 3 [Manual,Data Base Tester,WEB]
    Project Name Juelmin Insurance Services (JIS)
    Project Client Juelmin Insurance Services ,Dubai
    Testing Environment IE 8,IE 6,Linux Commands
    Role Tester
    Duration May 2009 to Nov 2010
    Team Size 02 members
    Testing Tool Team file server ,Microsoft excel
    Technologies used Asp.net, C#, SQL server 2005,RDLC
    Description :
    JIS is a state of the art integrated system that addresses the complete business operations and needs of Insurance Company. JIS is a web based application developed with Microsoft's .net platform. JIS supports the following business functions in an integrated manner : Issue/Renew Motor Policy, Additional Cover Policy, Quad Bike Policy, SMS, Policies Prints, Company to company rate and details copy and Policy posting to account etc
    Responsibility
    - Understanding the Requirement Specifications.
    - Preparing Functional Document based the understanding.
    - Preparing Test Scenarios and Test Cases.
    - Updating and Executing the Test Cases.
    - Performing Functional, Regression, GUI and Specifications based testing.
    - Preparing weekly report based on the bug.
    - Responsible for maintenance of Test Documents.
    - Involved in Deployment of code.
    Involved in Client Interaction to give demo and also to solve the real time issues.
    Project 4 [ Manual,Data Base Tester,WEB ]
    Project Name EBOS – Business Online System
    Project Client Onyx Industries, Juelmin Insurance Company.,Dubai
    Testing Environment IE 8,IE 6
    Role Tester
    Duration September 2008 to April 2009
    Team Size 02 members
    Testing Tool Team file server ,Microsoft excel
    Technologies used Asp.net, C#, SQL server 2005,RDLC
    Description :
    EBOS is a comprehensive best in the class product, revolutionary in bringing about effectiveness in the operations of the Organization by integrating the various functions and workflow.I am responsible for building the package for the release to the internal testing, And effectively contributed in Alpha and Beta Testing by thoroughly understanding the RS and Preparing a well suited test cases
    .Modules in EBOS :
    1. eBos Admin 2. eBos Procurement 3. eBos Engineering 4. eBos General Ledger.
    5. eBos Payables. 6. eBos Receivables7 eBos Drive 8. eBos Payroll
    Responsibility :
    - Understanding the Requirement Specifications.Wrote Test cases For Each Module
    - Preparing Test Scenarios and Test Cases.
    - Updating and Executing the Test Cases.
    - Involved in Test Case Review meetings.
    - Performing Functional, Regression, GUI and Specifications based testing.
    - Preparing weekly report based on the bug.
    - Responsible for maintenance of Test Documents.
    - Involved in Deployment of code.
    - Preparing the Help file and manual for the changes done in the project and explain the flow to the client.
    - Involved in Client Interaction to solve the real time issues.
    Project 5 Manual, ERP ,Web
    Project Name ERP-PLUS
    Project Client Petrochem.,Dubai
    Testing Environment IE 8,IE 6
    Role Tester
    Duration January 2008 to August 2008
    Team Size 02 members
    Testing Tool Team file server ,Microsoft excel
    Technologies used Asp.net, C#, SQL server 2005,RDLC
    Description :
    ERP Plus is an add on application to extract data from ERP or JDE database, allowing users to update related information for further analysis, planning and execution purpose and print the reports. ERP Plus provides information in form of Dash Boards, Reports and Screens. It contains Integrity, Sales, Finance, Logistics, and Operations Reports. It also contains subsystem for storage which provides solution and system will receive the goods, issue Pick slip to customer to pick materials and user will dispatch the goods. It contains Masters, Transactions, Query and Reports.

    Responsibility :
    - Understanding the Requirement Specifications.
    - Writing, Updating and Executing the Test Cases.
    - Performing Regression, GUI and Specifications based testing.
    - Preparing weekly report based on the bug.
    - Responsible for maintenance of Test Documents.
    - Involved in Client Interaction to solve the real time issues.
    Project 6 ERP ,Web
    Project Name UCI ,USA
    Project Client Urbana ,Campus,Illinois USA
    Testing Environment IE 8,IE 6
    Role Tester
    Duration July 2007 to Dec 2007
    Team Size 02 members
    Testing Tool Team file server ,Microsoft excel
    Technologies used Asp.net, C#, SQL server 2005,RDLC
    Description :
    UCI is ERP-,Designer series software, which aids efficient management of work processes and the institution as a whole. it is a result of extensive research to streamline the institutions and provide a changed paradigm in which the organizations perform and grow. UCI Developed to automate one or more areas of the institutions work and thereby render efficiency. It centralizes the entire data and stores it into an easily retrievable form. UCI product had linkages to Several Desktop Application as well Web Modules which helps the parents as wel as the Institutions to perform varies functionality online, Paying Fees, monitoring the student status import and export data the Modules. So that It provides MIS to the principal and management and empowers them to lead the institution forward
    Responsibility :
    - Understanding the Functional Requirements of the Each Module.
    - Involved in Data base testing writing different queries ,
    - Involved in preparing Traceability Matrix
    - Experience in Identifying scenarios and write test coverage using TCD Techniques
    - Involved in updating/Editing the Test Cases and reviewing the same.
    - Created the test cases as per the requirements and executed them.
    - Involved in writing test cases for Functional, Integration, System Testing
    - Experience in Smoke, Adhoc, Regression
    - Making reports on Seagate crystal reports 2000/Formulae Enterprise Edition .

  5. Post Count Number #5
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    Nice topic.
    I also like it..

  6. Post Count Number #6
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    LOL! Nice one...

  7. Post Count Number #7
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    Nice post, thanks for share it.

  8. Post Count Number #8
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    This is really funny! I can relate! :)

  9. Post Count Number #9
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    really very Nice jokes

  10. Post Count Number #10
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    hey...Nice one..!!!!