How software companies hire people?

[Admin]

Hiring a Lion by software companies in India:

*Cognizant Method : Hire a lion… ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do. give him gobi 65 to eat again and again. hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit give them same gobi 65 to eat hire 200 more ……. and more …….

*TCS method: Hire a lion give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary lion dies of hunger and frustration

*IBM’s metbod: hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour … he dies of unemployment. ..

*Syntel Method: Hire a Cat … assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches on site and make sure that he never reaches on site. Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion….

*MBT method: hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job. Lion dies of the strain?

*i-Flex method: Hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flex cube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion) holy cow dies in fear of the real lion.

*Polaris Method: hire ..sorry….purchase a lion (COSL) .. change his timings…(instead of 9 AM …change it to 8:30 AM) cut down his allowance (coupons etc) lion dies from fear of becoming CAT …..

*Patni method: hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat … the lion dies before joining….

*Wipro Method: Hire a Lion, give him a mail Id. he will die recieving stupid mails all day ……..! !!!

*Accenture Method: Hire a lion…. Send him to Mumbai or Delhi. Ask him to stay on bench for a long time. Ask him to eat Chapathi, Vada and Paav. No Telugu, No kannada, No Malayalam, No Tamil, No English. Only Hindi. No good food, No hygienic water, ..and specially ugly girls And tell him “Go Ahead be a Tiger”. Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion

[swert]

Hey, this one was really very funny. Certainly took sometime to get the feel of it. Why didn’t you include one of the top IT companies, Infosys? They too should be here in this list. Every company has their own strategy of screwing people. Ha-ha. Please post more of such sarcastic take on general things in the society.

[Guest]

Thank God. I work for HCL and I am really a lion here.

[vijayalakshmi200]

1.TCS method
2.IBM’s method
3.Syntel Method
4.Patni method:
5.Wipro Method: